Emotions are feelings that people experience. Emotions have a great impact on the thought process and behavior of people. Our decisions and actions are highly influenced by our feelings. In order to help our children lead a happy, well balanced life we need to teach them, how to control their emotions. 

Controlling emotions, means being able to manage your feelings in such a way that helps you complete tasks and achieve goals. Teaching children to control their emotions in a positive way will have a great impact on their life, as it will equip them to face difficult or challenging situations in life. However, controlling emotions should be taught to children with great care, as we want our children to be expressive and at the same time not go out of control. 

When children are not taught how to control their emotions at a young age, they tend to develop adverse coping mechanisms like violence, promiscuity, substance abuse and rebellion against authority. Some other children may tend to suppress their emotions which could lead to depression, anxiety and even self-harm. Therefore, it is crucial for children to be taught how to control their emotions at a very early age. 

Let us discuss some of the effective ways to teach children to control their emotions.

Model healthy emotional behavior 

Children are known to keenly observe others especially their parents and mimic their behavior, be it good or bad.  Therefore, as parents, you we need to emulate healthy emotional behavior for your children to follow. When faced with tough situations where you can get angry and upset, you need to practice healthy behavior by following strategies to calm down and act reasonably. As actions speak louder than words, your behavior will have a greater impact on your children than all of your preaching.

Acknowledge your child’s emotions 

It is very important to acknowledge your children’s emotions without being prejudiced. Instead you need to empathize with them and not become judgmental. Help them reflect on their emotions. Children then learn to accept their emotions instead of being ashamed of them and bottling them up. They also learn to process their emotions and are more aware of their emotions

Talk about their emotions 

It is good to encourage your children to talk about their emotions and not feel guilty about feeling a certain way. In order for children to open up, parents need to develop a strong bond with their children and gain their trust. Talking about their emotions will help children feel better and not left out. They will realize that everyone goes through similar emotions but the important aspect is learning to cope with it.

Identifying your child’s emotions 

Many times children, especially little children, don’t understand their own feelings and the cause of such emotions. At such times, you need to help children identify their emotions and teach them to connect the physical manifestations they experience to the emotion. Help them understand the various feelings he or she can experience and the way they are expressed in their bodies. For example, a fast heart rate might indicate that they are feeling frightened and sweaty palms may mean they are nervous. 

Recognize others emotions

Along with recognizing their own emotions, children should also be taught how to read others expressions and understand how they are feeling. Each emotion exhibits different signs of body- language and facial expressions by which they can identify how the other person is feeling even before they say it. This will help children to be sensitive to others and develop better relationships.

Identify the cause of the emotion 

After helping your children identify their emotions, the next step is to help them identify the cause of those emotions. On their own, may find it difficult to find out what triggers those emotions but we can help them by discussing their feelings and the incidents that preceded those feelings. As parents, you need to be patient and not judgmental and encourage your children to be honest with you. Some of the common triggers for anger may be an argument or fight with their siblings or friends or being denied something they want, etc. As we discuss about situations, you need to assure them that what they feel is completely normal and that they don’t have to be ashamed of anything. You also need to help them understand that identifying the cause of the emotions can equip them to handle similar situations in a better manner in future. 

Cope with negative emotions 

The next most important step after identifying the cause of the negative emotion, is to learn how to cope with them. Many times, parents tend to tell their child to calm down or punish them for exhibiting negative emotions. This will only cause them harm as they may become rebellious or repress their feelings. The right way to handle negative emotions is to discuss and develop strategies along with children, in order to cope with negative emotions. 

It is crucial to teach them to separate their emotions from their actions. You need to help them understand that while we may not have control over what we feel, we can control our reactions to those feelings. For example, feeling angry is normal and acceptable but hitting and throwing things is not acceptable. Tell them that we can control the way we react to those emotions. It is a choice we need to make.

One of the most effective way of teaching children how to cope with negative emotions is to discuss situations which have occurred or make up possible situations and analyze how best you can deal with those emotions. Together, parents and children can come up with the most suitable strategies. This will help them react better when faced with real life situations.

Healthy means of emotional outlet 

A major factor for dealing with negative emotion is to learn to channelize them into something positive. Teaching children about ways to have constructive emotional outlets will free them of bottled up emotions and clear their minds. When trying to cope with negative emotions they can indulge themselves in some means of self-expression dance, singing, listening to music or play an instrument or even just going for a walk or a run and getting some fresh air. Having such forms of emotional outlet will help children improve their mental health and cope with the stress and pressures of life. 

Conclusion 

Emotions are an important part of our life, and are what makes us human. Without the ability to experience various emotions, life would be very full and monotonous. When in control emotions are very beautiful and give character to a person. Therefore it is very important for children to be taught at a very early age to control their emotions. This will greatly enhance their mental and emotional health and help them grow into beautiful well balanced people.