Parents of little children often don’t know how to deal with their lying children. What begins as innocent little lies, might just develop into a full-blown habit of lying. When a child lies, parents feel hurt, disappointed, betrayed, frustrated and angry.

Let’s understand why children lie:

Why do children lie?

There are many reasons why children lie. Some of them are given below:

To establish their own identity: Children choose to lie to establish their own identity and to impress their friends. It does not matter to them that this identity is false. By lying, children could also be responding to peer pressure. A child may perhaps exaggerate his or her home life or things they have done or can do just to impress their peers.

To protect themselves: Children may lie because they don’t want to hurt or disappoint their parents. They can also lie because they are trying not to get punished for doing something wrong. If they do something wrong and know that their actions are going to hurt their parents, they will try protect their parents by lying. They seek their parents’ approval and their love.

To avoid dealing with a painful experience: If a child has suddenly lost his or her favourite pet, then the child may refuse to believe it and lie about its death. So, they may tell those around them that the pet is alive and well.

To imitate their parents: Children are a parent’s greatest fan. They look up to their parents and hero worship them. They watch every step a parent takes and every word a parent utters. If you lie, chances are that your child will do just the same because they will imitate what their parents do.

To win a reward: If a child wants to receive an award, they may lie to get it.

To get attention: Little kids may often lie for small matters. As they grow up, they can begin to lie just to get some attention. Little kids are also known to make up stories. These are not traditional lies, but a way for children to run away with their imagination and understand the world around them.

To avoid trouble: If kids get into trouble and want to get out of it, they will lie because they feel there isn’t any other way out.

How to stop kids from lying?

Plan ahead: Plan with your spouse about how you are going to deal with this issue. Decide about the problem behaviours you want to discuss. Parents should also plan the consequences of the child’s behaviour before meeting to discuss the matter with the child.

Be specific and discuss what you saw: When you discuss with your child about his or her lying, speak openly about it and in a calm and matter of fact manner. Put the consequences of your child’s actions before your child so that they have a chance to think about it.

What’s the reason behind the lie? Find out what caused your child to tell a lie and deal with that problem. Once you come up with a simple and easy solution without lying, your child will realize that problems can be resolved without lying.

Avoid punishments: If children are scared of being punished, they will not confide about what’s happening to their parents. So, they will leave their parents out of this. At this stage, it is up to the parent to try to speak to their kids so that kids can open up and ask for help.

Explain why they should never lie: Tell your child that lying is so bad that you would never be able to trust them again if they lied. To encourage them to own up their mistakes, you need to be calm. So, stay calm, don’t get angry and see the results.

Make kids promise to speak the truth: Tell your kids to promise that they will be honest. Once they make the promise, tell them that you trust them to be honest to their promise. Hold them accountable to it so that they are encouraged to speak the truth.

Tell them that honesty pleases you: Tell your child that honesty alone will please you, so children should be honest. Besides, honest kids don’t get punished. This will encourage kids to speak the truth.

Be a role model of honesty: Parents’ honesty can be inspiring to children, so parents should try to be as honest as they want their kids to be. In the big and small things of everyday life, parents may lie. For example, parents may say they are not feeling well, in order to skip a meeting or an event. Children watch this and take their cue from such behaviours. So, parents need to be honest if they don’t want their children to lie. You be honest, and they will be honest as well.

Conclusion

Lying may be a big deal, but if you take small but sure steps you can deal with it firmly. Don’t resort to slapping or yelling at your kid because that might make them firm in their resolve to lie over and over again. Play it cool, stay consistent and success will surely come to you.