Aggressive behaviour in kids is very common. It is quite natural for children to get angry, cranky and aggressive when they are upset about something. So why are children so aggressive that sometimes parents can no longer handle them?

Children may become aggressive because of several underlying issues. The primary reason for children behaving aggressively is because they are upset or are not able to express what they are feeling.  So when they are not able to explain what they want, they get aggressive. They will also get aggressive to gain your attention or to check the limits of your patience.

How can you deal with your child aggressive behaviour?

Depending on the nature of aggression in your child, there are many ways in which you can respond to it. Here are some ways of dealing with this problem:

• Set limits and be firm

A child must know what type of behaviour is acceptable and what is not. So make a rule and explain what will happen if they break the rule. Make sure that anyone who takes care of your child knows what limits or rules are.   If every adult behaves in a consistent manner, then the child will soon realize that they have done something unacceptable.

• Be quick to react

If your child has physically harmed another child or person, then take the child away from that place and set him or her down in a safe spot till they completely cool down. Don’t wait for your child to calm down and then try and speak to them. Tell them straight away that you don’t like their behaviour.

• Help your child deal with anger – lead by example

Encourage your child to talk to you about what is disturbing them instead of shouting and yelling. For example, if your child wants more juice, then explain to them that they should not throw an empty glass at you but ask politely if they can please have some more juice.

Also, praise their good behaviour and lead by example. If you’re going through a tough time, try not to get angry or frustrated.  Instead, react in a cool and composed manner. By you doing so, your child will understand that there are other ways of handling tough situations.

• Don’t beat them for their bad behaviour

Though they may deserve it, don’t think that they will learn if you beat them every time they behave badly. The child, in turn, might do the same with you, so be very mindful. What’s more, the child may think that it is perfectly alright to behave aggressively.

• Teach your child about social rules and accepted behavior

A child does not know how they are supposed to behave in public. You must teach them what is acceptable and what is not. A child needs their parent’s guidance to tell them how they are supposed to behave outside with people and in public places. For example, you need to explain to them that you must stand in a line at the supermarket or that screaming and shouting is not allowed inside a movie hall or at some function. Teach your child to politely ask for anything they want rather than demand it aggressively.

• Demand courtesies from your child

By asking your child to say ‘please’, ‘thank you,’ ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’, where appropriate, you can firmly but gently guide them away from aggression and on to the path of peace and calm.

When should you worry about your child’s aggressive behaviour?

Usually, children grow out of their aggressive behaviour quite naturally. However, if it’s still a matter of concern, speak to your doctor for ways to deal with it. Ask for their advice if:

• Your child behaves aggressively all the time
• Your child’s behaviour can cause injury or harm to others, to property or pets
• Aggression is increasing as the child grows older
• Your child is physically hurting him or herself
• Your child always speak negatively about themselves

 

Conclusion

Children can get aggressive for many reasons. You as parents need to be firm and help the child understand that aggressive behaviour is not acceptable and that there are consequences of bad behaviour. You have slowly but patiently work towards weaning your child away from aggressive behaviour.

Ultimately, peace is an important element of your home when your child does away with their aggression voluntarily. When they understand and accepts that there is a better way of handling their needs, desires and attention-seeking quest, they will give it up forever.

Good luck and happy parenting.