The triad – School, parents and teachers – Role in shaping a child

The triad – School, parents and teachers – Role in shaping a child

Each child is born with a unique personality which is shaped by the environment in which the child is brought up. Parents, teachers, caregivers and schools play an important role in influencing the personality of a child. As the saying goes “A child’s mind is like a blank slate”, therefore all knowledge obtained is from the experiences gained through life. Children are not born with the prior knowledge of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. They learn by observing others around them and their interactions with others. As a child’s mind is like a blank slate, it is important to instil the right values in them when young, so that they will not depart from it when they grow up. Therefore, this great responsibility of shaping a child lies in the hands of parents, teachers and the school.

Role of parents in shaping their children 

A parent is a child’s first teacher. Children learn a lot from watching their parents and imitate their actions and behaviour. Parents have a strong influence on their children, as they are their first role model. Parents play a crucial role in the learning and development of children. By good parenting skills children can be nurtured into positive, confident and healthy beings.  As parents have the greatest impact on their children, it is very important to encourage and mould them into beautiful personalities. Some of the steps parents can take to shape their children are:

Spend quality time with your children 

It is important for parents to take time from their busy schedules and spend some quality time with their children, as it helps to build a bond with them and win their trust. Spending time with children on a daily basis helps them feel loved and secure. This in turn helps them develop into confident individuals.

Avoid labelling children

Parents need to be very cautious about the words they use when correcting their children. When parents label their children for certain behaviour, it leads them to believe in those words and it hinders any scope for correction. Children believe they are what they are branded as and accept defeat even before trying. This may lead to development of low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Hence it is very important to correct children in a positive manner, encouraging them to improve themselves.

Pay attention to children

Children crave for the attention of their parents. When parents pay attention to their children when they express themselves, it gives them confidence and boldness to hold conversations with others. They also learn to become good listeners in the future.

Do not be over critical

It is every parents’ desire for their children to do well and excel in life. Sometimes, the expectation of parents are too high that children fall short of meeting their standards. When children fail to meet their expectations, parents get disappointed and criticize them for their failure. Excess of criticism from parents can be harmful to the child’s morale, as they may get dejected and feel like a failure.  Therefore parents correct their children in a positive manner and acknowledge the efforts put in by them. This will motivate children to do better next time.

Do not compare your children

Parents should never compare their children with their friends or relatives, as it can greatly affect the child’s confidence. Children may begin to think low of themselves, that they are not good enough. Instead parents can positively encourage their children by telling them what they can do better instead of pointing to someone else.

Be a role model to your children

Many parents lecture their children about the right and wrong behaviour and expect them to follow. Children learn more from what they observe than what they hear. Therefore, parents need to model the right behaviour, what they desire their children to follow. For example, when parents require their children to be orderly, they should set an example to putting things back in place or if they require them to be gentle they should speak politely to others. 


Teachers have a great role in shaping in the lives of their students. As children spend 9 to 10 hours in school, 5 or 6 days in a week, teachers become the most influential people in their students’ lives. They are like a beacon of light, who guide their students through the different stages of their lives. Students also look up to their teachers and try to imbibe their behavior. Therefore, teachers should realise the importance of their role and carry out their responsibilities with diligence.

Here we will discuss a few steps that a teacher needs to implement in shaping a child’s personality. 


Teachers can help better the performance of students


Teachers can make a difference in the performance of their students by being sensitive to their needs and helping them overcome their weaknesses. This helps the students gain confidence and do well. Teacher can also give extra attention to slow learners and motivate them to work hard. 


Teachers can motivate interest in a subject


Many a times, student loves or dislikes a subject because of the teacher. Teachers need to come with creative ways to help their students learn a subject.


Teachers can identify talents in students


As teachers spend a lot of time with their students, they are able to identify their talents. Teachers can encourage students to nurture their talents and develop them.  

Teachers can become a student’s councillor



When teachers make efforts to build bonds with their students and be approachable to them, they gain the confidence of their students. This will encourage students to confide in their teachers and get the right advice.  It is not always easy to confide in parents. Children need other elderly wise people whom they can look up to. Especially now, where students are prone to depression and suicide, teachers need to be more sensitive to their students.


Schools play a vital role in shaping the personalities of children. Children spend a considerable period their lives in school. About first 10 to 12 years of child’s life is spent in school. Therefore it is important for schools to provide good personality development education. When a child is found to have good qualities and good communication skills, the first thing that is asked is, which school does the child belong to. Hence, a lot of care should be taken in choosing the school to educate your children in. 

Schools should focus on the wholesome development of the child. 

Today many schools are only academically oriented. The whole focus of the school’s curriculum is directed towards academics and nothing else. Lot of pressure is put on the child to score high marks. Many times, schools compete with each other in order to get cent percent results. Instead, schools should focus more on the complete development of the child, by encouraging them in extracurricular activities, such as sports, art, and music and so on. Schools should provide exposure and opportunities for child to pursue their areas of interest. When children are exposed to such activities early in life they can identify their talents and pursue it. Schools can also conducted quiz competitions and debates for children who have good oratory skills. 


In conclusion, we see that the role of moulding children does not solely fall on one entity but it is the combined influence of parents, schools and teachers. Therefore, all three need to work together to shape the life a child. When parents and teachers put in extra effort to mould a child, it takes them a long way and impacts them for life. This can be said vice- versa too, if parents and teachers neglect their responsibilities of moulding children, it will impact them negatively. Shaping the lives of children is like shaping the future. Hence, the values of the future generations are in the hands of parents, teachers and schools.

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